I AM A CHRISTIAN, ALMOST

A Work in Progress 

I am not a Christian so that I can make pronouncements of certainty about when life begins, or who is saved and who needs to be. 

I am a Christian because life is messy and love is the only thing that has ever made sense.

I am not a Christian to pass judgment.

I am a Christian so that I can live with people most especially people whose decisions cause me pain or anger without needing to kill them or hurt them or stop listening to what they have to say. 

I am not a Christian because it makes everything clear.

I am a Christian because life is full of murky middles and moral ambiguity and following the Way of Jesus helps me sort through the confusion, sit with the uncertainty until there is clarity, and think more deeply, question more sincerely and live more compassionately with others and myself. 

I am not a Christian in isolation.

I am a Christian in community with others who are struggling, just like me, to understand how to live with authenticity and integrity in a world where problems and perplexities don’t often yield to easy answers.

I am not a Christian because it’s easy. 

I am a Christian because following Jesus means that nearly every day I have to choose whether to be a person of compassion and love or go my own way.

I am not a Christian because it is popular or politically expedient.

I am a Christian because it continues to challenge me and pushes me to reevaluate my life and my responses to circumstances.

I am not a Christian because I want to go to heaven. I am a Christian because I don’t know exactly what happens after death but I do know that right now I want to make the most of the life that I have and trust that whatever comes will be astonishing.

I am not a Christian so that I’ll be “saved” not in the way that word gets thrown around.

I am a Christian because I want the original meaning of salvation.  I want to feel whole and holy.  I want to be free of those things that enslave me like money, insecurity, approval, conformity or that keep me in exile such as not being able to love someone else out of some crazy fear. 

I am a Christian because it is a path toward finding my most authentic self which is the self God has called the beloved.